Thursday, October 31, 2019

I wonder

Happy Halloween!



I wonder
what you're going
to do
When my ghost
is in front of you.


I wonder
what you're going
to say
When my ghost
suddenly blocks your way.


I wonder
what you're going
to see
When the odd one
is over me.


I wonder
what you're going
to do
When my ghost
is in front of you.


I wonder
what you're going
to hear,
I wonder
what you're going
to see.
When you'll realize
the ghost isn't me.

(C) Trix.

Sunday, October 27, 2019

The shoes

The day has come. Carrie had to tell her mother. Well, not about exactly everything, but nearly.. something. Just a part of it. The important part. She had to do this. She couldn't handle it anymore.

"Mom?", she almost whispered throughout the small, windy, house.
She wasn't used to ask for new stuff. Different stuff. Ask for anything at all.
"Yes, my darling?"
Her mother stood in the stairs and she looked very, very tired.
"No, never mind".
Her mother looked too tired to bother right now.
"Carrie? Tell me. I listen. I have always time for you."
"Okay... I would like.. to.. to have.. to have new shoes."
"Why? These are almost new?"
Her mother pointed at her purple sneakers.
"Yeah I know".
Carrie was waving her body in all directions, because of her stupid question. She was so embarrassed.
Her mother was analyzing her. Her eyes became darker.
"Well, you can't have a new pair of shoes", she replies.
"But..."
"I said no".

Carries mother turned her back to her, just like her classmates did when they bullied her for her new shoes. The mother had a tear in her eye, just like she had when her boss told her she couldn't have a decent paycheck this month either.

(C) Trix, written 2019.

Saturday, October 26, 2019

The punch

I felt so incredibly sad. I was thinking about old memories, old non-fiction tales which was floating in my mind. Not even tales, it was more like fragments of an ancient event, and it wasn't even that long time ago. But it felt like it was coming from another period of time.

The grip around my neck was sudden, just like the punch in my face. He had convinced me to make love with him, and I agreed even though I felt a bit awkward. Maybe he noticed I felt uncomfortable, I don't know, but the harsh grip and the sudden punch made my body completely frozen and I couldn't even move any longer. I stopped to move out of fear.

When my body reacted in that way he seemed to be even more mad. Several more punches in my face and when my tears started to flow, his moves just became more aggressive. I just tried to hold back my tears and was taking whatever he made me do.

A year later he tried to contact me again. I had been struggling to sleep at night, had terrible flashbacks and was reacting like a wild animal on certain moves that was similar to the incident a year ago.

I pushed the "block user"-button and decided to move on. Although, he did apologize, but it would never cure my fears.

Tonight was one of those nights again, and I got up to tell one fragment of my story. And I hope I won't regret it.

(C) Trix, written 2019.

Friday, October 25, 2019

The suicide backpack

On my silent walk in a forest nearby, I saw something dark green and soft between two bushes. It had been trapped there, dirty, filthy, and alone, tangled in the small sharp branches.

I thought it was just thrown away so I couldn’t resist to open it. The content of the backpack, because it was a green backpack, left me speechless.

It was a pair of scissors, razor blades, a rope and, what I thought looked like sleeping pills, or maybe pain killers. I wasn’t sure. It also contained endless of plastic bags, which I assumed would be used mixed with the other harmful supplements. Maybe would them be tied over the poor creature's head while taking their own life.

I took the backpack with me, concerned that an animal or perhaps a child, would hurt themselves by mistake if I just left it to whomever to explore the gears in there.

I was going, slowly and quiet and without seeing where I was placing my feet. I just continued thinking about the whimsical, peculiar, green bag.

Suddenly, I was walking into something that was hanging in the tree right in front of me.

I screamed so loud I was damn sure I had made myself deaf forever.

(C) Trix, written 2019.

A sign of fear


You're trying
you're dying
hold back your tears
they'd not care
they'd not dare
Don't let them find your fears.

Don't speak
Don't be weak
just don't let them in
The demons will slowly
kill you
trash you in the bin.

Don't even try to leave
don't try to go
Your energy will be low
You'll see!, I told you so!

Hide your back
stay on track
hold back your only tear
They will see any sign of fear.

(C) Trix, written 2019.


Welcome to my new blog page!

Hello there, they call me Trix! I'm a 26 years old scribbler, I love arts and writing. Welcome to my world of creativity!